what to say during an welcoming in a funeral service
What to say at a funeral
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Attending a funeral
Grief and bereavement proficient Catherine Betley guides united states of america through the things yous should and shouldn't say at a funeral and explains how to speak to someone who has experienced a significant loss without upsetting or offending them.
Information technology is often difficult to know what to say to someone who has experienced a pregnant loss. Nosotros might find ourselves wondering what we could say that might assist the bereaved person, but likewise worrying that what we say could upset or offend them.
We can be left feeling powerless or inadequate because although we would honey to help, sometimes our words of comfort do not seem enough in the circumstances. The of import thing to recollect is that saying something is almost e'er better than saying naught, especially if what yous say is well intended and meant sincerely.
What to say to someone before a funeral
After a death has occurred, it is of import to acknowledge that loss when speaking with the bereaved person. We may feel awkward 'bringing it up' before the funeral, only call back, yous are non reminding them of their grief. You are giving them permission to be open about their feelings with you, if they choose to do then.
Yous may choose to send a carte, which allows for a few well-chosen words, but a phone call or brief visit are often very much appreciated too.
Things to say at a funeral service
If you lot are attending a funeral service, it is appropriate to offer your sympathy to the family. If y'all don't know them very well, a uncomplicated 'I'grand sorry for your loss' is fine, although it is frequently amend if you lot can say something virtually the person who has died, for example 'I'm and then sorry that you've lost your Dad (his name), he was a lovely man and I know nosotros'll miss him very much.' Saying something personal that kindly remembers the person who has died and what they meant to you is ordinarily appreciated.
Hither are some examples of what to say at a funeral:
- I'm sorry for your loss
- He will be missed by everyone that knew him
- She was a lovely woman and will be greatly missed
- You and your family unit are in my thoughts and prayers
- When y'all're fix, I'g here for you
What to say to someone after a funeral
After a funeral, it is often the kind words of condolement from the people who attended that the family remembers for a long fourth dimension.
Sometimes nosotros are truly lost for words and cannot bring ourselves to say something personal because we fear that we may break downwards or upset the bereaved person. When this happens, you may want to say something like 'I don't know what to say or how best to assist you, only I really wish I did'. This is often a very honest manner of telling people how we feel and reassures the bereaved person that you lot really care and volition be at that place for them.
Things you should not say at a funeral
There are, notwithstanding, some things that should non exist said at a funeral. It is advisable to avoid platitudes such equally 'well, s/he had a good life' or 'they're in a better identify at present'. Nosotros want to effort to recognise a bereaved person'south grief, non to minimise or trivialise it. Information technology may well be that the person who has died lived a long, happy and meaningful life, but to those left backside (for example a bereaved married man whose wife of fifty years has died), the length of the person'southward life could never have been long enough and the impact of the bereavement on them cannot and should non be minimised.
Fifty-fifty if yous take suffered a similar loss, information technology is important not to say things like 'I know how you feel'. The fact is, you don't. Y'all can only know how yous felt when you were bereaved, yous should not presume that other people experience the same way. By proverb things similar 'I know how you feel', yous shift the focus of attention from their feelings to yours. There may come a fourth dimension when y'all tin can share helpful tips about how you felt when someone died and what helped you, but it is rarely the right fourth dimension to have these conversations at a funeral.
How to help someone who is grieving
The other matter that people often say at a funeral is 'if y'all need anything, just allow me know'. While this is normally well-pregnant, information technology does identify the responsibility for asking for help onto the bereaved person. If you lot desire to assist, exist specific in your offering. How exactly you can help will of course depend on the individual.
Grief can be exhausting and the bereaved person may capeesh some relief from daily tasks e.m. cooking, childcare and shopping. You may similar to offer to help them with paperwork, as at that place tin exist a lot to sort through after a death and this can feel overwhelming.
Applied assistance like this can exist a expert way of demonstrating that you are there for them. Actions very often speak louder than words and when the funeral is over, and for a long time afterwards, bereaved people may demand and capeesh both applied help and emotional back up.
Contributed by Catherine Betley, Managing Manager of Professional Aid Limited & GriefChat®
Catherine has over xx years experience of managing counselling and therapy organisations, starting and developing new projects and ventures and delivering preparation and support to a huge range of organisations.
She has worked in business concern and across the voluntary and community sector at local, regional and national levels, including a serving as Director of Services for Cruse Bereavement Care, the world'due south largest bereavement clemency.
Catherine is currently Director ofProfessional Aid Limited, which delivers confidential and impartial support and counselling including employee support, disquisitional incident response and bereavement counselling. In 2017, Catherine set upGriefChat®which enables bereaved people to chat instantly online to a qualified bereavement counsellor. GriefChat won the 'Best Bereavement Back up Website' category at the 2018 Good Funeral Awards.
GriefChat
Nosotros know that no-one tin understand exactly what your loss feels like to you. Simply we practise sympathize that it's sometimes easier to talk to someone outside of your friends and family almost grief and the impact bereavement has on your life. This is why we offering the GriefChat service.
GriefChat was created past bereavement experts and allows you to chat direct to a specially trained bereavement counsellor. GriefChat counsellors are experienced in supporting bereaved people and will mind to your story, explore how your grief is affecting yous and assist you to find whatever additional support y'all might demand.
Dignity provides free admission to the GriefChat service. You lot can use it betwixt 9am and 9pm Monday to Friday by clicking on the conversation box at the lesser of this folio .
Source: https://www.dignityfunerals.co.uk/advice/what-to-say-at-a-funeral/
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